The Blondes on NPR's top Books of 2015 checklist and a Bookpage top ebook of 2015
“Emily Schultz is my new hero.” ―Stephen King
The Blondes is a hilarious and whip-smart novel the place a virulent disease of a rabies-like illness is carried purely via blonde girls, all of whom needs to visit nice lengths to hide their blondeness.
Emily Schultz’s superbly learned novel is a mixture of satire, mystery, and critical literary paintings. With biting satiric wit, The Blondes is instantaneously an exam of the complicated relationships among ladies and a cruel yet giddily relaxing portrait of what occurs in a global the place attractiveness is―literally―deadly.
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Extra resources for The Blondes: A Novel
It was once from a greater time. the second one photo used to be no twist of fate. the picture was once of Karl. simply Karl. You’ll want to know approximately him—but what am i able to inform you? I took the photograph on my mobile digital camera and went to the difficulty of printing it out—as if to persuade myself he was once actual, tangible, might occupy actual house. It hurts me now to grasp the picture is obtainable, someplace on the earth, yet with out desire of restoration. I think Karl’s face within a dossier folder, or a field with my identify and quantity on it, or buried in a recycling bin that hasn’t been emptied in months. Karl’s picture had no body, and that i consider laying it over the glass of the single of me and Larissa, the place it healthy rather well. I moved round the lodge room, maintaining the picture in a single hand, yanking open the heavy peach curtains with the opposite so the sunlight flooded in. within the photograph Karl’s in his workplace, staring up on the filled bookshelves, now not at me. whilst I shut my eyes, I see him there, as though he nonetheless inhabits that house. He had identified i used to be snapping the image, yet on the final moment he’d appeared away, up, as though anything of significant significance had distracted him. I lay down at the mattress with Karl and, underneath him, the picture of Larissa and me. the sunshine used to be coming down on his face completely, which was once why I had long gone to the difficulty of getting the photograph revealed. there are lots of images of Karl right here in Grace’s cabin—but no longer my Karl; they’re of a Karl I don’t relatively comprehend, a person else’s Karl. within the picture I snapped of him, he seemed thinner than traditional, more youthful, his hair extra brown than gray, chin pointier as he craned his face upward. He often wore glasses, yet he wasn’t donning them in that shot. A white blouse, tucked in on the waist, hid a physique I knew by way of odor, contact, and style, one who was once whorled with small brown hairs, dotted with pockmarks, scented with sweat, semen. I shouldn’t say this to you, yet all of the method in ny, thus far clear of him, there flared in my nostrils a musky scent with an underlying tang of time and overlook. simply speaking approximately it now i will be able to nearly odor it nonetheless, and … Why did the picture conjure the sort of actual reaction? I felt panic emerging in my throat like bile, and that i swallowed it sooner than it became a unusual repulsion-desire. Karl was once complicated. My emotions for Karl might switch fast then. Now … well. I positioned the picture of Karl at the cloth cabinet and grew to become again to the suitcase. I couldn’t forget that paper bag from the pharmacy without end. I’d already refrained from it for 2 days. Clutching the paper bag, I opened the door to the corridor. A black-haired, trench-coated girl used to be status contrary, cursing below her breath and being affected by her room key, a big backpack hunched on her skinny shoulders. My neighbour in 306, the only the landlady had pointed out. I didn’t say whatever, simply shoved the bag in the back of my again and stood there, blinking. I hadn’t run into many visitors within the twenty-eight days I’d been dwelling within the inn. while I had, it used to be often within the stairwell or downstairs on the check-in table.